Stop Being Agitated

Come and sit with Me. Accept that I am in control and quiet your heart with this truth. Be still and know that I am God! I’m not running around frantically nor are My thoughts racing all over the place. Breathe and let all the stress go. Feel the peace. Stop allowing yourself to get agitated, worried and upset. Receive My peace and focus on Me. Come to Me; sit and rest. Know that I take pleasure in you and I have your best always in mind. Rest, relaxation and recreation, you need all three; all are from Me.

Marriages That Thrive

Chapter 14

   You want to have a marriage which thrives and lasts a life time. If you are the only one working on your relationship, you can still make significant progress enhancing the connection between you and your husband. As you strive to improve the bond you have with your man, God will come along side you, guiding and supporting you-if you allow Him. God designed marriage and wants yours to succeed.

  In the thirteen newsletters we have looked at numerous aspects of building a Love That Lasts. Let’s take a quick review.

   Leave your singleness behind and start a new life together as a couple. God wants couples to stay united for a life time developing a unique bond between them like no other on earth.

    Deepen your knowledge of God and trust Him with every area of your life. Listen to His guidance and follow His principles for love in your relationship. Couples who pray together stay together. Set aside the time to pray for and with your spouse.            

   Do all you can to maintain your health. As my mother used to say, “Keep getting it fixed Honey, it’s worth it.” Make sure you eat healthy food, exercise regularly, get plenty of rest and see your doctor for regular checkups. Taking care of yourself will provide more energy to enjoy time with your husband.

    Accept your man as God’s gift for you to love and cherish. Don’t try to change him, but instead  admire him as you become his best friend and lover. Become the woman he wants to spend time with and join him in activities he enjoys.  Frequently tell your guy what you like about his body, personality and how he provides for you.  Be the one to give him praise and don’t encourage him to listen to compliments from another woman.

   Adapt to your man’s way of doing things and follow his lead. Be an influence for good in his life letting your ideas be known and then trust God to lead you through your husband. Remember, don’t break any laws or tolerate physical or sexual abuse.

Set aside plenty of time for honest, open communication between you and your spouse. Give each other the “Floor” when talking and listen to understand.

   Keep dating. Take the initiative planning leisure pursuits you both like or alternate; one week join him doing an activity he enjoys and the next week plan one you find fun.  Arrange for a sitter or exchange watching the children with a good friend. Designate a little money each month for your weekly dates and save ten to twenty dollars per month for an annual getaway.

   Start your crockpot early and often.  Intimacy, spelled S-E-X, is a very real need, not a want for the man in your life. Without this close personal time marriages seldom last or remain healthy. Read good Christian books on sexual intimacy to answer your questions and find creative ideas for keeping the spark alive.           

  In order to thrive, a marriage like any other living thing needs time and attention.

Through God’s power, strength and wisdom, you can develop a joyful relationship with your husband which is full of wonderful memories; a love that lasts. 

10 Teaching Tips for a Bible Study

Over the years I’ve gathered a few ideas for teaching an interactive Bible study.

  

1. Get them talking

Unless they talk they usually do not really engage in the class- they hear and don’t apply it.

2. Use a starter question

 Not everyone will talk unless you ask a simple question they can all answer. Often I use a question from their homework from the last week and ask everyone to answer it.

3. Break into Small Groups

Everyone will talk in a group of 2 and most of the time in a group of 3 or 4.  More people than that and they will need a facilitator to direct the conversation. Therefore I break up into small groups at some point in the discussion for no more than 10 minutes or you lose them. This also takes away all the focus from me/you as the facilitator. Small groups also break up the time and help keep them attentive, focusing on how this applies to their life.

4. Write on the board

Write something on the white board and solicit ideas from the group; a great time for brainstorming an idea and to get them talking.

5. Read Scripture

Every class needs to look at and read Scripture seeing that what we talk about actually originates from the Bible.

  

6. Keep it moving

Set up a tentative amount of time for each portion of the class. This keeps it moving and get to all the parts you want to cover without getting side tracked.

7. Limit number of concepts

 Introduce one or two major concepts per class.

8. Teach to all learning styles

 Include seeing, hearing, talking, writing, discussion, Scripture, small and large groups.

9. Discover an application

Help them figure out how they can apply the lesson to their lives 

10. Pray

Start the class and end with prayer for their needs. Use a prayer request sheet to get input from everyone and keep the requests concise so you have time to cover all of them.

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Here's my plan for this week’s Bible Study from the book Boundaries by Drs Cloud and Townsend. Focus on what a Boundary difficulty looks like now and in our childhood.

1. 5 min-Welcome- Prayer & Intro (Hearing)

2. 10 min-Starter-Everyone- Question from their homework- What is an attitude or belief causing you to make poor choices or experience pain? I always go first to give an example. (Talking)

3. 5 min-Boundary Difficulties-Description from the book- write on board (Seeing)

   10 min-Small Groups- Each group takes 2 questions (Application)

   5 min-Large Group-Small groups report on their answers; fill in the blanks (Writing)

4. 10 min-Scriptures-Examples for each boundary difficulty (Reading)

5. 5 min-DVD (Seeing)

6. 10-15 min-Causes of Boundary Problems-Presented by my co-teacher helping them identify what caused their problems (Discussion)

7. 15 min-Prayer-Read the requests. Ask anyone to pray for one of them if they would like. Close covering any prayers which were not covered by someone else. (Prayer)

Photograph by Linley Zook

I am God's

I am God’s workmanship created by Him to do His will. He is working His plan in my life.  It is a plan for good and not for harm. As I follow God, He stays with me, guides and leads me. I hear His voice and follow Him as my Shepherd. He leads and protects me. He provides for my every need. Even though I don’t understand, I trust God and He directs my steps. God loves me with an everlasting love and will never leave me alone.  

(Ephesians 2:10, Jeremiah 29:11, John 10:12, Psalm 23, Proverbs 3:5-6, John 3:16)

Technical Difficulties

Working out technical difficulties.

Intimacy Is God's Plan

Chapter 13

   You looked forward with excitement to your wedding night, the special time when you and your new husband would become one. Then your daily married life began; both of you worked or you chose to manage your home full time. Children possibly arrived on the scene. You felt grumpy and tired yet he still wanted more of –that.

   In our relationship, the code word for intimacy is “Yes.”   

   Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again…I Corinthians 7:5

   Being too tired or having a headache is not prayer. Come on.

   Say “Yes” and plan for these times of sexual closeness. Talk with your husband to find out what he wants and how frequently. Then look at your schedule, make plans and set aside time for the two of you. This doesn’t limit spontaneity, but gals you need to get your minds headed in the right direction.

   In matters of intimacy, men react more like microwaves and women respond similar to crockpots. Start your crockpot early in the day to prepare for what will happen later that evening. Take a short nap, plan to get the kids in bed on time and enjoy a relaxing bath. Set the mood by lighting candles and playing music softly in the background. Wear some sexy lingerie you know your husband likes or surprise him with your creative outfit.  

   You may wonder how important sex really is to your relationship with your husband. Dr. Barry and Emily McCarthy in Couple Sexual Awareness describe the importance of intimacy in long lasting marital bonds.            

   “Sexuality is not the most important factor in a marriage, but (it) is integral to a successful marriage. When sex goes well it contributes 15 to 20% to the marriage–energizing the marital bond and making it special. When sex is problematic, it drains positive feelings. In marriages where sex is dysfunctional or nonexistent it becomes 50 to 70% of the relationship, draining the marriage of intimacy and vitality.

   To create your own long lasting marriages say “Yes” often.

Moving Prep 101

Moving Prep 101

 The Budget

Have you looked at the budget for your move? There seem to be a lot of  hidden costs in a move; more eating out when traveling, motel costs when looking for a place to live and getting this current home ready to sell.

We sat down yesterday and looked at a budget for the next several months. That was a real eye opener. The costs of maintaining two homes is bigger than I had figured. Our current house is for sale and we were considering buying another one in our new location. After looking at the monthly budget with two homes until this one sells we decided to rent an apartment and not buy until this one is sold. 

You know each time I move I seem to need a few things for the new place- curtains, maybe a new end table or chair. You know not everything fits from house to house even if you try to buy things that will. All those costs add up. 

So we decided to not go into debt for a new house right now. My husband is laughing and smiling again today and I am relieved. Not that I'm looking forward to small quarters, but I don't like money pressures. Life itself has enough unexpected happenings to keep us all in suspense.  

Take a careful look at your budget and work at not going into unexpected debt during your move. Better yet, try to do it without debt. It can be a family challenge.

Happy Moving!