Intimacy Is God's Plan

Chapter 13

   You looked forward with excitement to your wedding night, the special time when you and your new husband would become one. Then your daily married life began; both of you worked or you chose to manage your home full time. Children possibly arrived on the scene. You felt grumpy and tired yet he still wanted more of –that.

   In our relationship, the code word for intimacy is “Yes.”   

   Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again…I Corinthians 7:5

   Being too tired or having a headache is not prayer. Come on.

   Say “Yes” and plan for these times of sexual closeness. Talk with your husband to find out what he wants and how frequently. Then look at your schedule, make plans and set aside time for the two of you. This doesn’t limit spontaneity, but gals you need to get your minds headed in the right direction.

   In matters of intimacy, men react more like microwaves and women respond similar to crockpots. Start your crockpot early in the day to prepare for what will happen later that evening. Take a short nap, plan to get the kids in bed on time and enjoy a relaxing bath. Set the mood by lighting candles and playing music softly in the background. Wear some sexy lingerie you know your husband likes or surprise him with your creative outfit.  

   You may wonder how important sex really is to your relationship with your husband. Dr. Barry and Emily McCarthy in Couple Sexual Awareness describe the importance of intimacy in long lasting marital bonds.            

   “Sexuality is not the most important factor in a marriage, but (it) is integral to a successful marriage. When sex goes well it contributes 15 to 20% to the marriage–energizing the marital bond and making it special. When sex is problematic, it drains positive feelings. In marriages where sex is dysfunctional or nonexistent it becomes 50 to 70% of the relationship, draining the marriage of intimacy and vitality.

   To create your own long lasting marriages say “Yes” often.